A Work In Progress

My house is dusty, in need of a good vacuuming. And unfinished. I hate revealing that I am a normal person, and it is hard for me to admit that who I am, what I do, is and always will be a work in progress. My perfectionist mindset seems to be my biggest hindrance to posting. It is easy to blog about other people's beautiful houses, or something that inspires me. But this year, I really want to focus on being more real, and vulnerable. In other words, whether you want to or not, I am letting you in a little bit more. So, here is my first post about my house, with the pictures (cringe) that I never take, much less upload, edit and blog! Today's post: Our Bedroom.

One of the biggest drawbacks about apartment living is the limitations of color and the ability to change any structural element. Also, at least in this apartment, there is a lack of light most of the time which, if you have ever gone shopping for any type of lighting (lamps, etc.) they seem to be some of the most expensive household furnishings to be had (with the exclusion of brilliant settees and Van Goghs, of course).

Being the focus point of the room, I really want to finish up the layout of the bed and the wall above it. Walls are so important! They are the real canvas of the room, and without the ability to paint, I am learning to (try to) be creative.

The lady in the picture, I don't know her. I should probably fix that. And the price tag... classy! James wants to keep this dresser I found for $20 natural, but I'm flirting with the idea of painting it. Hmmm.... we shall see!

Botanicals. I LOVE botanicals. Working on how to incorporate them more. This chair was probably one of the most expensive things we have bought for our house at $180. It was worth it... I love the legs and the color.

I am in love with all the Penguin hardcover classics. I really wanted to personalize our bedside tables, but unify them with color and shape. The smaller one was given to me, and then I looked and looked for one with similar lines, and found this one for $20.

I love a fresh look, but at the same time, I want things to look old, as if they have been around for a long time, and will continue to be around for even longer. I love clean, but lived in. Right now, I need to focus on warmth. I sewed all the slipcovers on the bed, trying to make the room more cottage and less country. I find myself mixing new with old. I love the character that it brings.

Well there it is. A huge work in progress. I will try to post some of my ideas to finish it up soon!

The Perfect Cup

I love it when James has a day off. They always seem scarce, and therefore quite the treat. We are snowed in today, which meant he had to cancel all his meetings. Yay! (I mean... bummer.) He received some new barist(o) equipment for Christmas, so he has spent the morning in the kitchen, determined to make- the perfect cup of coffee. 

Oh. And one of the best parts is that I can make yummy foam for my hot chocolate now. Coffee smelling house, warm fire, and best friend. I'd say I'm having a pretty grand day.

A Week of Changes

I haven't been "skipping" out on my thankful days. I have been contemplating. I have always feared change. I thing we all do- clenching onto what is comfortable, easy. Willing to do all we can to rest in our sphere of knowing. This year and a half has been full of change for me. All change, it seems.

I have stood in awe as God has been faithful, guiding me from path to path, darkness to light, trial to triumph. I have replaced my mascara stained pillows with new ones, along with assurance of new mercies and refreshed hopes. Change feels so uncomfortable, and although we know it is from God, I think we can all say that most of the time, an unchecked attitude views change as bad. A burden. A trial.

Change without thanks IS a trial! As Ann Voskamp puts it, "Trust is the bridge from yesterday to tomorrow, built with planks of thanks. Remembering frames up gratitude. Gratitude lays out the planks of trust. I can walk the planks- from known to unknown- and know: He holds." When we remember to give thanks for all that He has already done, it is easy to see the change as greatly for our good.

The following pictures are from this past year of change. Changes that were indeed, incredibly hard in some ways. Some of those changes I have yet to see as wholly good... so I continue trusting.

So this week, I am thankful for life's challenges and shifting, a gift from the Unchanging One.

 I was able to do some traveling this year. I have learned to lighten up a little, to not fear change so much- even if it is as temporary as exploring a huge city and being around new kinds of people.

We moved into a new apartment this year. New living space. New neighbors. Three flights of stairs. It has been the greatest adventure, learning to live life on our own together. I have had so much fun setting up house, challenged to find inexpensive treasures and make a home.

Also, new jobs for both of us!

Celebrating one year together. A hard year, but a wonderful year learning to embrace what it truly means to become one. I think we have experienced as much as most couples experience in their first five years, and although I would never wish the past year back, God has used it for good in our marriage, and has set Himself up as Lord in our relationship. I am still learning to adapt to a new way of living- new challenges, new family, new blessings. Things have quieted down a tiny bit, and we have so much fun just being best friends. He is a pretty cool change, if you ask me. 

 My sunshine dog. Sunny keeps me happy, makes me get outside and breathe. His is spoiled, incredibly anti- camera, and cuddles with me when I'm by myself. He is a huge fuzz ball, and although his bark is menacing, he is the most lethargic and lazy watch dog. He and I have both been learning to adapt to change together. Yay for sweet dogs.

-July 2011 Sick, tired, underweight.-

Wow. What a year of health changes. I have had so many health problems for the past couple of years... almost all of them stress related. It has been absolutely inexplicable how God has changed me over the past year. I am not nearly where I would like to be, but God has defined grace for me in every moment of sickness and weakness, of stubbornness and self focus. I am slowly learning to embrace rather than shield, to slowly pry open clenched fists of control. To finally stop looking behind and ahead, so I can fully drink in the wonders of the moment. The picture above was taken at the beginning of the summer. The one below was taken last week. I am happier, healthier. Slowly on the way to recovery from many years of self- inflicted soul sickness and body weakness. 

-November 2011 Happy!-

Day 11...

Day 10. Divine Sustenance

From which all the world's mysteries are unveiled, the lens by which all things are rightly seen.
The smallest glimpse of what things should be, a blueprint for a heaven on earth.

"The Bible is not an end in itself, but a means to bring men to an intimate and satisfying knowledge of God, that they may enter into Him, that they may delight in His Presence, may taste and know the inner sweetness of the very God Himself in the core and center of their hearts."-- A. W. Tozer

Days 7-9. Besties.

Let me introduce you to my best friends. I've known them for quite some time. In fact, we used to be roommates. We used to laugh, fight, cry, play, and dream together. We still do. My three besties through thick and thin... bettered by each other's examples, all learning who God has called us to be.

Bestie #1

This guy has attitude. This is not new. Macho man, however has one of the sweetest, strongest, and truest hearts there is. This boy has exemplified faithfulness in so many ways, and was a prayer warrior in diapers (a VERY long time ago). He has inspired me to dig deeper and strive harder towards a closer relationship with HIM. This guy has grown so much in the past few years. He is, of course, too cool for me at the moment, but I can't wait to see how HE blesses his life of obedience.

On the flip side. This guy is an absolute. clown. Maybe it isn't a flip side after all... maybe this guy knows the reality in joy more than anyone else I know... bestie #1.

Bestie #2

No longer a boy, so much a man. It has blessed me so much to watch him grow in strength, sensitivity, strength, and wisdom beyond his years. I have been so excited to enter into a deeper friendship with him, asking him advice, leaning on him for support. Full of joy, and so aware of those around him. I see so much of myself in him, and see so many things I want to become. I am so full of confidence that he will continue to walk in the joy of HIM who he listens to for guidance. I am so blessed by you, Bestie #2.

Bestie #3... bestie of all besties

This beautiful girl is my kindred spirit. It has been so funny to realize that although we are so completely different, we are much more alike than I used to think. She is so full of conviction and purity. So full of true beauty and gracefulness. We have become so much closer the past few years, and so much of the time my heart hurts a bit that we don't live closer to each other... a funny thought or a mutual interest... we are truly the best of friends. She is so strong... so full of compassion though. She inspires me to patience and understanding. To act on my convictions and tire endlessly towards the things I find most important. She will always be a dreamer... I'm so glad of it.


I have so many wonderful memories with these three, and know it is only the beginning. I know I haven't always been the ideal big sister, but I have been so blessed with three patient and understanding siblings, able to look past my imperfections and see my heart. My heart is always tied to theirs, and I am so happy and humbled that I was chosen to be a part of such a strong bond as ours.

Small things... Days 3-6

Day 3
The smell in the air before winter's first snow.





Day 4
Salted Caramel Hot Chocolate on a blustery day.





Day 5
The window's lights and shadows falling on an unmade bed.





Day 6
The excitement of picking out Christmas gifts for loved ones.







"We do not remember days, we remember moments."
Cesare Pavese